Current mood:	relieved
Current music:	Show Me How To Live - Audioslave

Catharsis...

heya everybody,

i just came here to do something that i don't think i've ever done before... i'm going to post some writing, honest to god, poetry...

Now i bet you're wondering "Writing!? you have got to be fucking kidding me, you are no fucking writer!" and y'know what, you're probably right, but i was told this was something i have to do to lay my past to rest.

now this all came to be last week, when, there was a night when i just DID NOT want to goto sleep, and i was cruising other LJ's and i came across one where someone gave an abridged autobiography, we're talking childhood to almost present day. and this got me thinking about my past, so i thought "why the fuck not write down all the specific memories i have?" so i did.

The result? i spent 2 hours hand writing about 25 pages of significant things in my life. it started out fairly innocent with things i remembered as a child, but it eventually worked its way into some heavy, and rather dark topics from my life. sifice to say, it was a very... cathartic process. it got alot out of my mind and onto paper.

ANYWAY, i showed all this to drakmordis and there was one part in there that he told me "you have to write a poem about that"

So i did, and after some tweaking i think i got somethign here. those of you who know about my life know exactly what this is refering to.

So without furthur adeu:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Montreal  '04

in a montreal hotel.
you disappeared
the endless hallways gripped me
my mind raced, burning a warning for the path ahead
warning unheeded, the stairwell led our end

in a montreal hotel.
you kept me waiting
the silence stabbed my ears like blades
i tried to speak, nothing escaped but warm damp air
unsaid words trapped in the space between us

in a montreal hotel.
you lacerated my soul
the fluorescent bathroom light hummed in my eyes
clinging to my reflection, i felt the rising pain
beating heart crawled a slow cadence

in a montreal hotel.
you left me
rejected feelings cordoned behind locked doors
keys missing, i long for a purge
pain and falsehoods trapped forever

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

so, that's it, no need to worry friends, im SOOO over it, it happened 5 years ago, just seemed like a good thing to visit, to try and get it out of my head.

post your thoughts if you have any.

Catch Ya Later